Letting of People Who Bring you Down

Posted on October 20, 2013 · Posted in Dharma, friendship, letting go, LIfe, Love, Studio, surrender, Yoga

letting go

The above image was posted on our Facebook page this week.  We had a record number of people see it, forward it on and like it. This indicates that many of us are on the same path. The feelings that come up when we read this are universal.  It happens to all of us.


I have a dear, dear friend.   In the beginning of our friendship she was supportive, enthusiastic and loving. I returned that energy as well above and beyond. I thought and felt that the friendship would last forever.  Over time, as I progressed on my spiritual and personal journey she on hers – She became extremely judgmental of who I was, who I became, what I did and how I did it.  I was not ‘like’ her other friends I did not ‘do’ things the way they did.  The bubbly energetic positive support transformed to judgment and a weird silence with a spiritual veneer.


The truth is she was probably always critical but since I was also that way when we met so I did not notice it.  The truth is that she is still probably bubbly and enthusiastic but toward the other friends who do things the ‘right’ way.


As painful as it is – I know that I have to let go.  To let go of someone who has been with me on so much of my journey and I of hers… is difficult.  It’s difficult because a part of me ‘fears’ that the friendship will never mend. However, by letting go there’s an entry way for trust.  Trust that things are the way they are supposed to be.


I stopped calling, stopped emailing.  As I expected, she did not email nor call.  It was natural, simple. I was holding it together, resisting the truth. There are still unsaid words even if the silence was loaded.  As her departure made space, wonderful amazing new friends came into my life. I’m feeling abundantly blessed. I still miss her and maybe our friendship will come back, maybe it won’t and that’s okay. My job is to stay open, to love her as she is.  For me to release all my judgments of her, of  how our friendship ‘should be’.


If reading this a few folks come to your mind, or just one – and it’s painful. – know that it’s okay.  Trust that there are plenty of people to come into your life and fill it with support, love and be your enthusiastic cheerleader just as you are a potential cheerleader for them. It’s okay to mourn, it’s okay to feel empty for a while then it is time to let go.  Let go of what ‘should’ be and accept what is, trust that even better is to come! Because it’s true. Your next biggest cheerleader might be on the yoga mat next to you in class.


This is the yoga of life.  Each pose in yoga that teaches surrender, letting go reaches the emotional body.   Every forward bend we do in class from parsvo to uttanasana not only helps the physical body but also the emotional body.  If you think, feel that it’s too hard to let go come to yoga tell the teacher to do a class of forward bends. Trust your body to guide your heart and mind to greater stillness.